Now, don’t jump to any conclusions. I love my boy and being his mum is the best thing I’ve ever done by a long way but recently I’ve been finding myself in more low moods about this whole motherhood journey that I’ve embarked on. No-one told me about how down you can get and that it’s perfectly normal to have these feelings; opening up about how I felt was really hard because I had this perfect little bundle and still felt sad.
Anyway, here are some things I hate about being a mum. If you feel these too or relate to any of them and want to just have a chat, then drop me a message on Instagram or Twitter!
I’ve touched on this before in a couple of other posts but I have found motherhood to be extremely lonely at times. People you thought were your friends, even family members, suddenly drop off the face of the earth once they’ve got that initial picture and first visit in. You also don’t want to bother people with your issues as “it was your choice to have a baby” and you don’t want people to think you’re ungrateful for your bundle of joy – this is why it’s important to have friends that you can turn to and say “my kid is doing my head in today” and know they get what you mean.
Mostly for the fact that you catch EVERYTHING that they get too but have no time to recover as you’re busy looking after everyone else. George has already had his first cold from nursery and he’s only been there 2 weeks – not even 2 full weeks, he goes one day a week! My advice is make sure you have loads of cold and flu medicine in the house, a tonne of oranges or orange juice and be prepared to spend days on the sofa watching Cbeebies.
It. Never. Ends. I’ve been doing washing pretty much since George was born and it hasn’t stopped since. Invest in some colour catchers and just throw it all in together – you’ll thank me later.
When the Crying Just Won’t Stop
This is something I find really difficult to cope with – when I say crying, I mean from both me and George. Sometimes no matter how many different things you try, the crying just doesn’t stop. The world is a big scary place, even for adults, so it’s understandable that they cry easily. You’re meant to be their whole world and I found that when I couldn’t get George to settle, I felt like an absolute failure. I’d then get really upset and end up in tears which obviously didn’t help the situation and it just ended up in this cycle of crying. Luckily I’ve got Charlie there to break the cycle and step in if it gets too much.
When I Lose My Temper
Yes, I’ve lost my temper with my baby. No, I’m not proud of it but it will probably happen again. I have a short fuse at the best of times so when George is testing my patience, it does get to me. Now, I know he’s a baby and he doesn’t know that he’s being naughty but that doesn’t make him any less annoying at times.
Since before George was born I have felt mum guilt and boy is it a heavy thing to carry! Whether it’s what you eat, how they’re fed, how many classes you go to, whether they watch a bit too much telly, the toys they have, having a day off from them, going back to work.. I could go on, but the point is that mum guilt is a real thing. I still feel it but try to remind myself that there’s always going to be parents that can give there kids more than what George has but as long as he’s happy, none of it matters.
This plays hand in hand with mum guilt. Every mum has their opinion on what is the best way to raise a baby and that’s absolutely fine for THEIR baby. But that doesn’t stop the judgements. A large number of mums out there think it’s their place to tell other people how to raise their babies, or at least judge them for what they are doing. It’s easy to get caught up in this and allow it to take over your life, comparing your baby to others. I find this especially difficult with milestones. With the majority of our lives being on social media (or at least the good parts) it’s impossible to escape the “perfect” and unrealistic expectations.
This one took me by surprise. When George was around 8 weeks I noticed an increase in the amount of hair I was losing when I washed it. My hair isn’t in great condition anyway, after years of dying and bleaching, it does come out easily but this was just ridiculous. I honestly thought I was going to be bald. Now George is 11 months old, it’s starting to regrow in the patches that had fallen out but this means lots of baby hairs! especially around my hairline – I can’t wait for it to be all the same length again!
The Fear of Messing it All Up
I guess this ties into the whole guilt thing – every decision I make is going to shape George as a person and that is a LOT of pressure. I’ve brought George into a world that can be filled with so much hatred, I just hope that he finds his way as a kind human that helps others. The friends he makes, the career he chooses, his work ethic… it all starts with me and Charlie and the example we set for him.
That I Hate Any Part of It
I don’t want anyone to think that I’m not grateful for my little boy, I am very lucky and fortunate that I have him. However, I’m finding motherhood very difficult at the moment and didn’t really know where to turn (hence the post). I don’t want to talk to people about it face-to-face as I don’t want them to misinterpret and think that I don’t love my boy. Being a mum is the BEST thing I’ve ever done but at the moment I just seem to be in a real slump that I can’t get myself out of. Not sure if any of this even makes sense or if anyone else understands how I’m feeling but writing this and putting it out in the world is already making me feel a little less down.