Although we can have the most supportive partners, sometimes you need someone who you can vent to that gets it from a mum perspective. When I say ‘Mum Friends’ I don’t mean just any friend who is also a mum; I mean women who will make your motherhood journey easier and listen with no judgement. I mean the ones you can turn to when you’re really struggling. I mean the people who will always have your back. The parenting world is full of opinions and that’s fine but make sure you’re surrounding yourself with people who support you.
This time last year, I was finishing up my antenatal classes, scared stiff that within a month or so I was going to have a baby to look after and already feeling alone. Half of the stuff I learned was common sense and the other half I don’t even remember. What I do remember is meeting some other soon-to-be mums who have made this whole motherhood journey far less lonely for me. Antenatal classes are definitely something I would recommend purely to meet other mums who will be having their babies at the same time as you. Knowing someone else is going through the same things as you makes the whole journey that little less daunting. Here are some of the main reasons why mum friends are so important.
Having friends that are due around the same time as you means that you go through a lot of the big things at the same time. They’re experiencing similar things to you and although they may not be able to relate to everything, they’re likely to sympathise that you need someone to listen to and just be a shoulder to (physically or metaphorically) lean on.
During the first few weeks of parenthood, you’re going to be up at all hours of the night and that can get super lonely. Having someone to chat to can make those nights seem less long and help maintain a bit of sanity when you’re up for the 4th time in 3 hours. Even when you’re not up during the night, having company during the day is really important. I found (still find) motherhood very lonely at times and having a few friends to meet for a coffee as an excuse to leave the house can be a lifeline. Plus, it’s a great way to socialise your little ones – either at a class or just out for a slice of cake.
Our mummy group chat has seen many questions through the past year, from the colour of poop to nap schedules and pretty much every possible scenario about parenting. When you become a new parent, you will get a LOT of unsolicited advice and it will get very tedious. Having mum friends will not only give you a place to vent when an annoying family member tells you their latest theory on how you should raise your child, but they’ll be a great place to bounce ideas off and look at new ways of trying things.
Keeping your Sanity
Being a new mum is hard, whether it’s your first time round or you’re adding a new addition to your family. There are challenges that you’ll expect to face and absolute curve balls that will knock you for six. Having a good support network really is crucial to keeping your cool at times (don’t get me wrong, you’ll still lose it on occasion) and being able to reach out to other women who know how you feel is a real asset. Even if you don’t leave the house, having someone to message and just say you’re struggling can help you centre yourself.
Where to Find Mum Friends
As I’ve mentioned, I met mine on my antenatal course. With the world becoming smaller with the use of social media, you can find wonderful women online through motherhood groups. Attending baby clubs in your local area is also a brilliant way to meet mums and socialise your little one – there are usually some stay and play groups after a weigh in session for free or you could pay for things like baby sensory. No matter where you find them, just make sure they are supportive, open minded and kind; you don’t need negativity in your life, especially around your new baby.
If you’re looking for someone to talk to and don’t have a support network that you can trust, you are always more than welcome to drop me a message. Whether you’re looking for advice, want to vent or just need to know someone is there, we should all support each other – motherhood is hard and we’re all rocking it!