Well, it’s definitely not how they make it look in the movies! For my first blog post I thought I’d start at the beginning of my motherhood journey. For the most part, I really did not enjoy pregnancy; I love the fact that I now have my little boy but it was a long 9 months for me. Does it make me odd that I didn’t enjoy being pregnant? Maybe, but it’s the truth.
I found out that I was pregnant in March of 2018. There’s no wonderful story behind finding out or telling my partner, I did the test and that’s how we found out together. I’ve always wanted to be a mum and finally it was my time for that wish to come true but along with the joy came a big cloud of worry and anxiety which knocked me back quite a bit. I didn’t know if we were ready or how we were going to afford to have a baby; we could just about take care of ourselves!
I didn’t have any morning sickness but felt nauseous constantly and had the energy levels of a sloth coming round from general anaesthetic. Then came the booking in appointment with my midwife which was a horrendous experience. Now, I’m not a small lass and I knew that this could bring some risks to my pregnancy but this midwife made me feel as if I was the worst person in the world for getting pregnant while packing a few extra pounds. Birth defects, premature labour, gestational diabetes – I got given so many leaflets on what could go wrong and very little reassurance. However, after every scan and midwife appointment they said that my little baby was perfectly healthy and they had no concerns – so why did I still feel so awful?
I wanted to feel that ‘glow’ or get that burst of energy back where women clean their entire house from top to bottom. I wanted to have a cute insta-worthy bump and felt like I didn’t even look pregnant most of the time. The swollen ankles and inescapable waddle were also not the most flattering additions to my ever changing body. But why did I care so much about what I looked like? My body was growing a tiny human and that is an amazing thing that I should have been enjoying.
Looking back now I’m sad that I really didn’t take any pictures of myself during pregnancy as although I may not have felt great about the whole experience, it was a journey that brought my baby boy into the world.
Now that my baby is here and I feel the insane amount of love for him, I would quite happily do it all over again. I didn’t enjoy being pregnant but I love being a mum and that’s all that matters now.
What was your pregnancy experience like? Good or bad, leave me a comment about your journey.